P0-Niner Report

Jun 17 2017

Please see the above safety warning from 14th District Captain Hearn. The safety of our citizens is our primary concern.

A post shared by Philadelphia Police Department (@phillypolice) on

All NWP and MTB squad has heard this before.

Personally I haven’t gone into Devil’s Pool since i saw this lady hawk up a giant phlegm ball out of her head and right into the water.

It was so fucking gross.

She was like “haaaaaaaaawk SPIT!”

And this giant chunk goes splatting into the water and floats there.

The lady then floats on her back right next to it.

There’s other people all around her right next to the phlegm.


Not to mention pollution and piss and no doubt shit.

Don’t get it twisted. The Wiss is full of sewer run off and devil’s pool is right off of it.

Cresheim creek is sort of clean I guess…

I mean it is interesting to go watch local experts dive off the top but I guess there’s the possibility that someone is going to fuck up and die.

So it’s kind of a hectic spectator sport.

There’s this dude. he has to be around 50. white bol. Has a marijuana leaf all over print bandana on his head. kind of yoked. He is really the best one.

All the youngsters try to get advice from him. They’re trying to go off the tree branch and this dude is swan diving off of the bridge.

Ok go check it out if you haven’t.

Be posi and bring a garbage bag and clean up some cans.

Motherfuckers who love Devil’s Pool usually don’t give a fuck about littering.

Link to a good article about it:

Photo-B Maule form article.

Styrofoam cooler floating in the water.

From a different article.

I’m not linking it because the author floats the idea they should fill it in with rocks and that’s some massive bull shit.

You can find it. comes up fast on google. Nice photographs though.

but the author is on some suburban gentrifier route I can’t fuck with…

Give you a synopsis.

Rich upper class author tells poor lower class people they can’t jump in natural cold water pool for a variety of safety concerns in a magazine that only people from the suburbs read.

Adds in a tragic story from elsewhere in the park to illustrate her point.

(gets called out and issues a vague retraction of that key part of the story)

Suggests filling in historic spot with rocks is a good idea.

“Hey the cops like it!”

Finishes article goes to yuppie swim club and has a cocktail…

tells friends about how horrible the poor have it and how the slum’s got so much soul…

Goes home to central AC condo in former working class neighborhood…

….or back to the Mainline where the magazine is based.

Never goes to the Wissahickon again.

Suburban busy bodies read the article and click their tongues.

Kids keep jumping.


Synopsis of my post for fairplay:

Middle aged bike punk blog dude writes about how the last time he went into the water at Devil’s Pool some lady spit a bunch of phlegm in it.

He also notes the pollution of the Wissahickon Creek.

He suggests it’s a good place to go to watch if not participate and that if you do go you should clean up some garbage, because it’s fucking up our MTB terrain boyeeee.

He also suggests filling it up with rocks would be massively fucked up because yo! who the fuck would do that to this treasure?

Clean it up instead.