Private Week Leak

Dec 19 2016

Hey if your friend shows you his screenshot collection of Private Week you should warn him.

You: Hey man I’m telling you this as a friend. I know you think stealing that shit from Private Week is cool but you’re really just angering the Cycling Gods. You don’t want to be on the wrongside of a vengeful Cycling God do you? Tires go flat, tubes crack, you fall…you never know how they will punish you.

Friend:Dude lighten up ok? Like what’s the big deal. I’m just saving these screenshots so I can enjoy them at my own leisure. Don’t be so uptight bro. It’s just some pictures on the internet. Cycling gods. Gimme a break with that hocus pocus voodoo shit. There are no Cycling Gods. fucking idiot.

You:(shaking your head in disbelief and horror):just some pictures on the internet? ? This is Private Week fool! This is a once in a lifetime moment and you’re trying to make it your own.

Friend:Yo shut the fuck up dude. There’s no cycling gods. it’s just a blog with some pictures I like. That’s all. I’m not stealing anything so lighten up.

You:Fuck you motherfucker. I’m about to fuck you up so you better fucking delete.

Friend:Dude whatev-

You:(hit him right in the fucking mouth). I told you shithead erase that shit or something bad is going to happen.

Friend:Fuck you man, just fuck you.

You:(hit him again) I’m trying to save your dumb ass scumbag. You don’t know what the fuck is going to happen to you. me punching your face in is the least of your worries.

Friend:just leave, just leave or I’m calling the cops.

You:The cops? The fucking cops? They can’t save you from the Cycling Gods. No one can. You fucked up man, you fucked up really fucking bad.

Friend: Whatever dude-just fucking go, just go I’m calling 911 now. I’m calling

You:Make sure to tell them how you stole from Private Week fuckface Make sure to fucking tell them you pathetic motherfucker. You’re out of the GS you know, you’re done.

Friend:The GS. pffffft yeah right. big deal dude.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt Lightning Strikes him almost dead on his next bike ride. Fried in his saddle. Then he gets hit by a car, the car knocks him off a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff is the ocean. A shark jumps out of the ocean and grabs him. Some other sharks get in on the action. It looks like the part of Temple of Doom where the crocodiles eat the KaliMar dude except with sharks and lycra.

They spit out his bike. It’s so dumb and shitty they don’t even want it.