Snow Day?

Jan 20 2016

Looks like our I-95 East Side reading area is about to get dumped on.

Anybody want to lend me a fat bike? Nothing specific. I ride a 60 for a traditional road bike so that probably translates into “XL” for a “FAT” bike.

I know I said they were stupid. Well they are stupid, hate to brake it to you. But not in the snow. Or like in the Mojave or whatever. bruv.

I’m very responsible with bikes I borrow. I’ll usually ride it once and then leave it in my basement until your brother comes over to get it.

So, give me your dumb, ugly, corny fat bike for a couple hours Saturday. 😉


Snow day is awesome for the messengers. There’s a festive atmosphere amongst the team. Snowballs get thrown.

(Yo, one time this snow day hit in the afternoon and we went to some square bar around 21st and Walnut filled with normals. Good squad, Jeremy, Jesse… skye? maybe Joey? [[Richmond team is tough!]]

We left the bar and someone, I don’t know who exactly, threw a snow ball into an open SEPTA bus door and hit the driver right in the face. This irate commuter ran off the bus and tried to chase us and then fell on some ice, busting his ass. Laughs were had.)

Not so awesome for the dispatcher, who sits inside all wrapped up, with his fuzzy slippers on, and a blanket, drinking his hot cocoa with his cozy little hat on, rocking back and forth in his office chair hoping someone will call on a job instead of going to the bar.

Did I mention the Prog Rock?

Well tough dude. Get over it. You bum. You chose this life now deal with it.

ha ha


I’m just kidding.

dis-bastards are the best.

love you guys.

Screen Shot 2016-01-20 at 11.26.53 AM

I want be a guest dispatcher somewhere. Like a sub.

“Guys these jobs are just piling up and I will not stand for it!”

Does that sound good?

I’ll work on some other motivational stuff, like a really long sigh, and then silence, and then I’ll say “Guys, these jobs won’t deliver themselves.”

If that doesn’t work I’ll ask my number one ass kisser to do it, even though he’s been in the office all day drinking hot cocoa with me, and I don’t want to bother him.

But I will do it, damnnit this is serious!

(If you want me to be your guest dispatcher hit the “Contact” button. I’m totally down. Check this out. “Who’s calling on these jobs?” See, I’m a pro.)

(“Have a coke and a smile.” Cally-Callahan.)

(I’m serious about the fat (and ugly) bike too.)

(I should make a blog for dispatchers. It would just have pictures of vintage motorola, worn out bike shorts with the chammy all ripped up, coffee mugs that have never been washed, tight rolled pinners, craft beer, vintage tobacco including-marlboro reds, Drum, and some first edition American Spirits. Knit hats that have stray weed sticks stuck on them. The music would only be Prog Rock or Industrial. Wait this sounds pretty good. Implied Copyright! )